slacking off

Ok, so I’ve been a slacker and haven’t written all summer. Well I was doing pretty well for a while. But then I was at a turning part in my job. (I was at a small realty company not feeling like I had the proper training and making no money.) So I switched to a large real estate company that offered training. Meanwhile I have run out of money and quit going to acupuncture because I can’t even keep up with my bills. I can see that my health has gone downhill some but I am still way better than what I originally was.

I also ran out of my beta blockers for a while and that was crazy. Just about anything could make me cry and I felt really edgy, nervous and like I wanted to punch things. All of this was familiar to me since I used to feel like that before I was ever on the beta blockers. But I had to respect myself for being able to live like that day in & day out for years. It was infuriating to walk up the stairs in my house and have my heart doing 120 and just feel like I needed to take a nap from going up the stairs. So needless to say I am so glad to be back on the beta blockers.

I went back to my dr. that I see from the city healthcare program. And ironically after wasting all of my money the last few years trying to find that special dr. that understood what I was going through, I realized now that I’m on a government program I finally have that dr. Irony. She said that we might be able to look into the permanent options. (No one has ever said that to me.) I told her how my feet are puffy all the time and she said that that is related to the Graves & she mentioned the pretibial myxedema. (No one had ever mentioned that either.) She even talked about getting me in to see a dietician who could navigate my sensitive stomach combined with the blood sugar problems. And she may send me back to an opthalmologist to make sure my eyes are still ok. So I was very pleasantly surprised. All she wanted to talk about was my Graves. Every other dr. I have ever seen has acted like it must not be that big of a deal and they try to make up all of these other possibilities like IBS or fibromyalgia, all the time ignoring the white elephant in the room.

I also in my mind had wanted to ask this dr. if my dryness “down there” could be Sjogrens since I do have a positive ANA. I mentioned the dryness and she asked if my eyes, mouth, and nose were dry. I said yes. So she said she wanted to test for Sjogren’s. Who knows if I have it, but at least she is always trying to figure things out.


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