the latest

well, I went for a run a few days ago. I went even though my body didn’t really feel like it that day. so I learned a lesson too. If your body doesn’t feel like it, then don’t do it. I went to a local park, for some reason thinking it was a dirt trail. It was a paved trail, which made it feel so difficult to pick my feet up and keep going. I went the whole trail which only took 6 minutes, meaning it was probably a half mile. It was dissappointing that it was tough, but I knew the pavement & the fact that I hadn’t really felt like doing it had a lot to do with it. I can’t believe people voluntarily run on pavement. And this was new pavement. Some neighborhood streets have some bounce to them because they’re worn in. This did not.

The yeast beast is back with a vengeance. I am going to try tea tree oil suppositories. I hate to think that this is all blood sugar related when I’m not even diabetic. It’s not a good thought.

I started the new job and it is so much less stressful. There is a lot of accounting/data entry type things to do which I will have to focus to learn since my mind is very abstract, but it’s nice not to feel like I’m being talked down to like I’m the dumbest person in the world all day. Ahh, a normal environment again. Although I haven’t been sleeping much since I have to get up earlier. I’ve also been stressed out about this guy I’ve been involved with for almost a year now. I adore him and wish we could at least date, but he seems content to see me once on the weekend, if that and not call me or anything during the week. This upsets me since I went on tons of dates this summer looking for someone who would want to be at least a little more serious, but I was never attracted to the guys that wanted that. I really think it is something about this town since all my friends only find these sorts of characters too. This is weighing on me heavily.

I know I need to balance out my life and not stress out about things, but I think at this age you want everything to be perfect NOW. I”ve thought about moving to my own place again now that I will be working full-time, because it seemed like I was happier when I lived alone before. I think living with my parents has cost me some feeling of freedom perhaps.

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