hmmm

– the last time I had acupuncture was aweek ago (December 28). I remember I had been kind of depressed and I told her that and now I’m not. Sleeping has been more of a struggle but not as much in the past few days. I have a hard time with being wired when it’s time to wind down during the week (and right now I’m physically spent but mentally not).

wheatgrass.gif

– I did get hired at a new job but haven’t started yet. It’s from 8-5 every day and I’m nervous that it will be a struggle to go to bed at a decent hour and get up. (Always has been a struggle). I tend to get stressed out when I know I have to get up early. Then I can’t sleep or am just wired wanting to read late at night and usually by the end of the week I’m dead. I’m also nervous about the eating at work/low blood sugar situation. To feel good I really need to eat every 2-3 hours, which always makes me feel like a lazy person or paranoid that I will get in trouble for it. But I will say that when I was doing acupuncture once a week my blood sugar was not as big a part of my life.

 Hopefully the new job will also give me a little more money to get back into eating healthy and experimenting with new things. One of the things I wanted to try was wheatgrass powder. I guess you just pour it in water and make a drink out of it. If it tastes decent it could be a good way for me to get more greens.

I also ate little cups of applesauce this week in between breakfast & lunch at work and that was a catastrophe. My mom buys the kind with corn syrup added and I’m not sure if this is why, but both times after I ate it my vision was all blurry and I got hot and felt like I was getting closer to passing out. So I am steering clear of that from now on.

I’m hoping to have enough money to do acupuncture once a week again, but we’ll see.

Also tonight I finally went shopping for some running clothes. I got a few tops and a pair of sweat pants and the modern loose polyester equivalent of what used to be running tights. I’m excited about this new gear – a lot of it seems sleek and I’m hoping it will get me more enthused. I like the idea of feeling compact and streamlined when running.  I’m thinking running could be an important part of me improving if it really will help my blood sugar problems. My goal of course is to get better to the point where I can run 5k races again like I used to in high school. I need some of those long-sleeve running t-shirts that you get at the races (always the main motivator for me to race, but now that I’m older I also like that the races benefit good causes).

Although I have felt NO urge to go running lately. I haven’t had the energy I had when I was going to acu once a week. But I think that even going every other week I am doing better than I was before I started ever going.

I think my outlook is way better. I realized that by constantly thinking about Graves disease, with it’s disease name I was feeding the beast. Now I think more about healing, or getting better, or the improvements I have had.

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