Good Morning Starshine


here’s a picture of my wide eyes. you can see them struggling to look sideways. a face shown without the rest of the face looks really funny.


So at I almost cancelled my last acupuncture appt. because my sinuses were so clogged and I felt really run down that day. I would blow my nose nonstop. I got there and she stuck many needles around my nose. It made my eyes water. But afterwards on the drive home it felt easier to breathe. And it pretty much got rid of what was going on. I still blow my nose sometimes but I can breathe, I’m not congested.


well, it seems that I am not doing as well going every other week to acupuncture instead of every week. but I can’t even pay my bills! but this week I had trouble sleeping, as far as being wired late at night. it would be 2 am and I still didn’t really want to go to bed. then had to get up around 8. needless to say I am exhausted (but still don’t want to go to bed.) I have realized that I stress out about things that are beyond my control (men, jobs etc.) and this really does me no favors physically either. It definitely doesn’t help me wind down at night. I also would pee before I went to bed and feel like there was a tiny bit just sitting there that wouldn’t come out. This irritated me and kept me awake with my repeated trips to the bathroom. This has always been a hallmark of the graves with me. The little things that are like gnats bothering you.  I just fell off the wagon in general this week. I noticed myself feeling weaker. And the winter depression from the lack of sunlight finally hit me. But since then I feel better.


I decided one day that I just had to get more sunlight to fight the winter blues I am prone to. So I went for a run in the park near the real estate office. I ran on pavement and I did have a hard time picking up my feet, but I felt like I pushed myself to go a little farther than usual. I could also breathe steadily and calmly which is nice. Then afterwards I felt a tightness in my lungs the rest of the night. Probably from running in the cold. It was weird though, almost like holding mental tension in there. It made me wonder if the run also got some energy blocked in there, but maybe that’s farfetched who knows. But the run did lift up my spirits from being outside in the light. It is very gray here in the winter.


I have started taking hot baths again at night this week because it really calms me even though I’m sure it doesn’t help the nonstop yeast situation (which is back with a vengeance.) I take diflucan but I haven’t been able to shake this thing yet. The gyno said she sees this ongoing yeast issue in her diabetes patients and that I should try to cut down on carbs/sugar. I try to be careful with what I eat, but I live with my parents right now and I’m broke. They have a huge supply of all manner of sweets at all times. And that stuff fills me up if I’m running out the door, where an apple and spinach will not. So that’s on ongoing struggle. I feel like it’s militant to not be able to have a few cookies once in a while, when otherwise I eat very well. But the acupuncturist had said it is part of my heat issue so who knows what exactly is causing it. I guess a month of antibiotics last spring wasn’t good either. I’ll keep hammering away at it. Try different things.


I’m working on figuring out some other job I can do that will be less stressful than my current one. I’m also trying to do real estate part time and really want it to work out. So I  need my main job to be something that doesn’t stress me out or weigh me down mentally.


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