bye, bye big neck!

after the last acupuncture session I felt like a lot of the enlargement in my neck was gone. I would reach up and touch it and it seemed a lot smaller. Today I confirmed that. I had a beaded necklace I had restrung and a few weeks ago before I had started acupuncture I tried to get it on and it was too tight. I couldn’t shut the clasp on it. Today I put it on with several inches to spare. In fact it is sitting on my collarbone instead of choking me around my goiter like it would have done a few weeks ago. I am amazed. I still have a lot of the physical symptoms but maybe not to such a bad degree. I slept for 2 nights without my sleep medicine. So I’m optimistic about how far I can go with this treatment.

In the last session I had gone into a meditative like state and several problems in my life became clear to me. I think these are problems that instigated the Graves. For example, whenever I am mad/upset with someone in my life they usually have no idea. I hate confrontation so I never tell them. This just leaves the anger and annoyance simmering nonstop on the burner in my mind and I know it’s not good. I still don’t know what to do about it. I can’t seem to work up the nerve to tell people when I feel they have wronged me.

I also realized that when other people ditch me (be it someone I’m dating or friends) I have always tended to think it is something that I have done wrong. But I’m realizing a lot of times it’s a problem with them that they are dealing with and has nothing to do with me. People have issues and I shouldn’t jump to conclusions and blame myself.

It’s fascinating to me that the acupuncturist did not say any of these things to me. They just became apparent after the needles were put in and I was left alone to lay there. It’s as if she knew just the right spots to target to instigate the healing. And I think the healing has to start with mental patterns that lead to stress and ultimately the physical disruption of disease.

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