went for a run – “The Comeback Kid”

I tried taking only half as much sleep medicine as usual last night and it didn’t work. I ended up staying up later, loving this book I was reading. So of course in the morning I was tired and out of it from the sleep medicine. Gradually as the sleep medicine wore off at work I started to notice that I was less intimidated by everyone and I felt like I could interact with people at work in a more social way, which is closer to how I normally would be. (At this particular job I have been yelled at a lot for forgetting things and was constantly on edge from it.) Still felt shakey/weak but maybe not quite as hungry as usual. Normally I would plow through a pack of wheatcrackers w/cheese but today I only ate 2 of the crackers and I wasn’t starving or dying of low sugar either.

But I was exhausted and not wanting to do much of anything when I got home since I didn’t sleep much last night. So to up my spirits/energy I decided to attempt going for a run to see if the acupuncture had helped me at all so far. It possibly may have. Because normally I feel on top of the world for the first few strides and then immediately my legs are so weak. But today I felt like I lasted a little longer before my legs went weak and I felt like my heart rate wasn’t as high, as if I wasn’t laboring so much over every breath. I could tell it was my legs that were really holding me down, literally. It was so hard to pick them up. I have lost a ton of muscle in my legs. I randomly lost 25 lbs without trying about a 1 1/2 years ago and at the time all my friends said “what happened to your legs?????” because they had really whittled down to far thinner than normal. Well, that’s what happened, the muscle wasted.

The funny part is that the book I was reading last night is about a woman who randomly started to be able to pick up on what was wrong with other people and she became a healer. She is very much into Eastern religions and mentalities and so far she talked a lot about visualization. During the run I kept thinking “The Comeback Kid” as if the phrase was playing across the sky in front of me. It was like my mantra and it kept me going for the short time that I ran.

I took my heart rate as soon as I got in the house. At first I got a rate of 120, but then I did it again and it looked like 136 which is probably what it was. Either way, it is far better than the last time I remember taking it after a run (1 1/2 years ago) when it was 160. Although I would guess a lot of that lower heart rate would be from my beta blocker. Or the cold weather could have made it easier on my body. This run was somewhat better than the few runs I attempted this summer. It felt more natural, more like it used to. Even though I had to will myself to pick my legs up and by the end of the run I had all this phlegm in my throat, it was hard to breathe, and the thought of it made me nauseous. But overall it was an improvement.

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